he puts the penis in happiness.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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