Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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