i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize