So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
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