I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
