i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
