K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
