Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Randomize
