Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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