I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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