Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
