You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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