my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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