Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
