make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
