I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
