mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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