hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
