i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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