My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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