Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
