i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
