dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
