I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
A bitchslap is in order.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
