I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
