there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
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