My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
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