at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
We need a shit load of segways right now
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
