how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Randomize
