it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Randomize
