There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Randomize