I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
