In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
