You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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