: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
