The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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