No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
