just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
