It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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