Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
