Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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