my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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