I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
