Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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