like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
