i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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