Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
