I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
