Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
