I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
