Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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