if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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