im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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