if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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