Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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