is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
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