she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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