worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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