So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
