i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
