Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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