And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
