lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I made him laugh his dick is mine
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I currently don't understand fingers.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
