fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Everything about him screamed your future.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Drake has all the answers
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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