would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
