the condom got lost in my hair
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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