Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Randomize
