So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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