I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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