and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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