do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
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