I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
