They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
how can u be prego again
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
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